Be Everything You're Supposed to Be

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams...." - Eleanor Roosevelt I have so many dreams for myself and for my life and for my daughter... Some would say most of them are far fetched and can never be reality. The truth is that they don't understand my dreams if that is what they think. Dreams have a wonderful purpose... They inspire greatness. I pity a person who has no dreams in life. My dreams may be full of fantasy and extreme ideas, wanderlust even, but the inspire me. They encourage a strong passion and an even stronger will. My dreams are really not that big. Nor are they impossible. They are simply awaiting the proper opportunity. My dream is really quite simple.... I want to experience life.  I want to see a horizon that has no limit, like the plains in Oklahoma.  I want to smell the fresh scent of pine in the Ponderosa Pine Forest in Colorado.  I want to see the sunset from a quiet beach in Calif...

There are very few things in this world that I will admit to being a total failure at.... one of them is math... but that isn't my point right now. I work really really hard to make sure that I am the best version I can possibly be. I work really hard at work to prove myself (and I think it will pay off one day). I work my ass off around my house to prove to my parents that I can do it on my own and that supporting me and my daughter while I finished college wasn't a totally lost investment. I even try (sometimes maybe too hard) to be a good parent. I also like to think that I'm a healthy person with an active lifestyle. Truth is.... none of this is true.... Yes I work really really hard at work and at home, but when you're chasing your tail you never really get anywhere. No matter how fast you run. I work hard at my job at the expense of my time at home and with my daughter. Yet when I do try to take the time to spend a day with her, she really knows how t...

So.... today i realized one of my favorite little "added" workouts is to crank up the music while I'm cleaning and dance around the house! I feel like it's a great way to keep myself moving and in a good mood while I'm doing all the things no one likes to do. vacuuming has become much more tolerable and can I just tell you.... dishes were never more fun! I get a lot more work done around the house when I do it this way and, while there is always more to do, I feel much more accomplished when I can say it was a worth while workout. Having said all that, working so much this spring, a workout and diet plan has been incredibly difficult. Between 10-11 hour shifts and lack of help around the house, meal prep has become sort of a figment of my imagination. I do try my hardest to stay on track, but the unhealthy stuff is just so much easier!! I have managed to make it to the gym at least three times so far this week and got in a total of 8 miles in ...

Today is all about not wanting to be an adult!! As my wonderful friend and coach said today, "why can't I just spend all day working out and cooking instead of being an adult!?" Well put my friend. Well put! Today was full of less than fun adult stuff, like getting up way too early for any human being to be even getting up to pee, working 11 hours, running around like a maniac to pick up my 6 year old and feed her and get her to swimming lessons, plus squeezing in my own workout while at the gym, then getting home, putting her to bed, trying to get some bills paid and clean up the kitchen a little, feeding every animal in the house (there are a lot), getting them all to go potty, trying to get more bills paid, rsvping to birthday parties and graduation parties, trying to plan out the rest of the week in order to make sure at least one of the thousands of major projects for the house get done.... I'm sorry, I've completely lost my train of thought because ...

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. I can sit here a throw a bunch of the usual cliche one liners at you like "you're lapping everyone on the couch" and "If it was easy, everyone would do it".... but I'm not gonna do that.  The truth is that, while those things are true, the better and more truer truth is that you will have a much better sense of accomplishment and self worth if you do it for yourself. Don't throw on your workout gear and hit the gym to out-do the guy next to you. Don't throw on that 21 Day Fix workout and try to be like Autumn. You are not these people and what these people do and say do not directly affect you...  unless, of course what they are saying is "you are about to be struck by a vehicle" - then I might be inclined to listen to that person and get the hell out of the way of the car. Every one of our big accomplishments are actually an accumulation of a lot of small accomplishments. So ...

So after a week has been over in this challenge for the 21 day fix Beach Body Challenge... and while amazingly having some pretty wild results... I have learned one very important thing. Step 1 is always believing in yourself, step 2 is trying your hardest, and step 3... the most important step.. is loving yourself no matter what. No matter what the measurements say. No matter what the scale says. No matter how many days or meals you accidentally messed up on. None of it matters.... And on the flip side of that same coin. If you do everything right and lose the weight and inches but you still can't look in the mirror at your own reflection at the end of the day, you have failed to see the point. self-love noun regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). I work my butt off both at work and at home to try to make a great life for my daughter and for myself and I never give my sel...

Alright ladies and gentleman!! It's weigh in day 1 for this Bikini Body Challenge group and I'm actually pretty excited to share my stats. I will say that my measurements are hard to really quantify because i still have nothing to measure them with but visual is still pretty cool..... This first week was full of all kinds of struggles (as I'm sure you're read) but I started to really catch on towards the end of the week. Best part was that I had enough sense not to over eat at our company BBQ yesterday! It was awesome!.. super proud of me for that one. I will admit that I may have had a couple beers.... so yesterday wasn't my healthiest eating day. But look at me!!!! (I'm pretty sure a lot of the loss is from water weight... i used to have a pretty high sodium diet before and Aunt Flow was in town... not a good combo btw). Anyway... DRUM ROLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! So... having looked at these one week results, I think that I will hit my goal and be able...

So I wouldn't consider myself a marathoner by any means, but I do have people ask me why on earth I would CHOOSE to run. To be honest, it has less to do with fitness than most would think... Remember, a few days back, when I mentioned that I have ADHD?? Yeah... well to give you an idea of what it's like, watch this video  what it's like to have ADHD . It will show you a little bit about what it's like in my brain every day. It's high energy all the time and very distraced. Jerry Arb is the name of the gentleman in the video and he is very good at explaining what i's like to experience  how ADHD feels . These videos are a great way to see what every day is like for me..... I promise this is getting somewhere.... Well on top of the hyper-stimulation I cause myself (trust me its like being stuck in the middle of an argument but both sides of the argument are pretty much saying the same thing in different words), it is also very easy for me to get overstimulated ...

"'For I know the plans I have for you' said the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" I would not consider myself the religious type, in fact for the last 8 years I have struggled very much with my faith. After hitting a rough spot in my life a few months back, I reached out to a good friend of mine who found God and got baptized into the church and has grown a lot in her faith over the last few years. I reached out to her because I was feeling very lost and alone and I guess I thought maybe the church could help me. After a rough break up we talked again about the tough times I'd been facing and she sent me a beautiful care package with a book (which I haven't read yet but when I do we will chat about that!) and some nail polish, some earrings, some Derby Chocolates (yum!), and a note. On the back of the note read "Jeremiah 29 11"..... I had no idea what this verse said or was about so ...

*DISCLAIMER: nothing you read in this post is going to be politically correct. The intention is not to insult any one or slander anyone's name. This is just my thoughts in writing for anyone with internet access to read. I take you back to the good old days when Randy, Paula, and Simon were the judges of America Idol. Randy was... well I'm honestly not really sure. He was like the token black guy on the show that sometimes seemed like he was trying way too hard. He said "dogg" all the time and was the "neutral party" if there ever was one. Paula was the only female judge at the time and everyone was pretty convinced by season like 30 that she was on some sort of drug or drugs.... or maybe that she needed to be. She smiled (a lot) and clapped like an idiot. Then there was Simon. He was the big grumpy asshole that everyone loved to hate. He called everyone out on their shit and was sometimes just a little too harsh. But still, there was always something abo...

So today was a vast improvement! I overslept but the good news is that I didn't have to be in until 9 today instead of 7.... so I still had time to get my Upper Fix in!! And now my armpits hurt and my arms feel like limp noodles. That's ok though, that means I worked hard!! I was hoping to also squeeze in a mile run this morning, but that one had to be skipped. I feel like on these days where the focus is on arms or legs I want more of a heart racing sweat (pardon my former inner runner coming through). So anyway, I got my Upper Fix in and then managed to continue on with my morning feeling right as rain. Got to work, had a good (yet crappy - there weren't many good incoming sales leads as we had hoped) day. I went to a brief meeting for Relay For Life in Southern Anne Arundel County this up coming June (please let me know if you're interested!! I'd love to see you there!) and then headed to Lusby to visit a friend of mine and give her some info on Lawn Care. In...

Well... just like many of the current readers, I took part in DAY 1 of the Bikini Body Challenge today, and well, to be 100% honest... it was a total bust. Of all days to start a clean eating diet with an exercise program, today was the worst day possible. I over slept my 4:45am alarm by about 45 minutes which meant that I had approximately 15 minutes to work out before I had to get my ass in the shower and get ready for work. So I chose a 1.2 mile run which i completed in just over 10 minutes. I was disappointed that I didn't get my fix workout in. Being that it is now 11pm, there is no energy left in my body to do it now.... I literally just got home about 20 minutes ago.... let me explain..... I woke up late at 5:30, ran for about 10 minutes which put me in the shower (after feeding the animals) around 6. I have to be at work at 7.... so I showered, got dressed, fed myself (two hard boiled eggs thank you very much!) and ran out the door only to arrive about 15 minutes late.. g...

Alright folks.... it's Easter and the day before the beginning of the Bikini Body Challenge. I will be incorporating the 21 day fix with my own workouts at the gym but will be trying to stick fast to my meal plan! I just did some of my meal prep for this weak... the potatoes smell AWESOME!! Anyway. I did my measurements... sort of... and took my before pictures. In case anyone was wondering, I'm at my heaviest weight since I lost all the baby weight back in 2010. I'm not happy with my body, not because I think I'm fat, but because I'm not healthy. I'm not as focused and energized as I once was, my stress and anxiety levels are too high, and I can feel how unhealthy I have become. It doesn't feel good... You may be wondering what I meant when I said I sort of took my measurements. Well, I don't have a measuring tape AND I'm a visual learner, so I am doing something a little different::::                            ...

Since my post this morning.... i will admit that i have faltered more than once today. I spend my morinng on a healthy hike with a mile run with my dog, then I had to go into the office to pick some things up, I ran a few errands.... then disaster struck.... i got a milky way bar..... Then, since I spent the day working on paining my bathroom and finishing fixing the GAPING hole in the wall, I never really sat down and ate a meal. I just snacked on crap all day! By 7:30 all I could think was "what the heck were you thinking! we just went through this this morning!" Then I remembered the video. I definitely hit the snooze button too many times this morning because I just didn't feel like it. I could have put down what I was doing to make a healthy meal.... but i just didn't feel like it.......... I'M NEVER GOING TO FEEL LIKE IT!........ So instead of "fat shaming" myself I am going to put a positive spin on what I've done today. Here is what I h...

Not to long ago, in a land not so far away, I woke up and realized that I wasn't where my potential says I should be and the voice in my head was doing everything it could to keep me there. "You don't have the time for exercise."....       "You're not pretty enough for that".....           "You aren't around enough for her".....               "You just haven't worked hard enough yet".....                  "It's alright, that doughnut won't really affect your healthy eating goals".....                    "You just haven't earned it"..... I decided at that very moment that I wanted to be the person that my dog and my daughter think I am.... and also accept myself as readily and happily as they do. Without judgement.                           They...