Being The Best Version of Yourself

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

--Ralph Waldo Emmerson

There are so many places we go to online on a daily basis that are constantly showing us that we "aren't good enough" or that we need to be more "presesnt" in our childrens' lives. They seem to uphold some stranger version of the 1950's traditional home life that is invalid in todays world.-- Stay home with the kids and make sure that they are properly fed with healthy and wholesome meals (three squares a day!) and ensure that they get a healthy snack in the morning and afternoon. Be sure to be there when they get on and off the school bus and that they complete all their homework with a smile on their faces. Don't forget to cook and clean and do the laundry. Oh, didn't you see that recipe on Pinterest for that crazy chicken meal that you have to buy a jar of something expensive and only use a tenth of it and then let it go bad so you have to throw it away????????

I'm sorry to say this, but it's just far too unrealistic for all of us to live this life. Even in families where the dad stays home or is the primary caretaker. Lets be honest people! We are only human and there are only so many hours in a day and so many days in the week!!! And no one can be that happy all the damn time... this isn't Pleasantville and I am no Stepford Wife!

AT THE SAME TIME.....

I honestly cannot justify the people wo make excuses for why they are slobs. Don't give me this "dirty dishes mean full tummies" or "a messy house is a happy house" bull... lets be honest. You're a stay at home mom for a two kids in middle school and you're home all day. If you have a weeks worth of dishes and a pile of laundry that hits the ceiling... You are just plain lazy. I'm not saying that you need to have a miraculously clean house or that everything should look like a page out of Home and Gardens magazine... but at least put forth SOME effort!

Now... having said all of that, I am the farthest thing from the picture of perfection when it comes to parenting and housekeeping. In fact, right now.. as I type this post, i have four loads of clean laundry, unfolded, strewn across my couch. I also have a sink half filled with dirty dishes, carpets that need to be vaccummed, litter boxes that need to be cleaned, floors that need to be polished, a play room that may or may not look like a tornado hit it, and a million other chores that just haven't gotten done. 

What I also have is a daughter who is bright and has a very promising future. We may do homework and practice spelling words while she sits on a bale of hay in the barn while I clean stalls (my second job), but she gets it done and she does an amazing job! I have a family that is fed with the healthiest options available given the circumstances we live in. No... Pasta three nights a week isn't ideal, but at the end of a pay check and when we are running out of food in the cabinets, everyone is happy and no one complains... in fact, they love spaghetti!! I have a home that, while it is messy at times, I still work hard to make it a healthy living space.If you were to go through the average day with me, you'd think I was unorganized and forgetful. But the truth is, I am getting things done in the time slots available. So maybe I do throw a load of laundry on the couch and then turn the loads over and put in a new one. It takes me 2 minutes to do that and I can do it right before taking Ciara to the bus. No I didn't fully finish the laundry and fold it and put it away, but you know what!? Everyone has clean socks and underwear, so stop complaining!

I now work two jobs, which will turn out to be roughly 80-90 hours per week and there are no more days off. I will be managing a small barn near by and taking care of their horses and other animals and the property. I am still maintaining my day job where I work 40+ hours per week. I am also doing the daily chores listed previously as best I can and raising my daughter to the best of my ability. The fact that everyone has clean socks (they may not match) and underwear and I've managed to prep ahead of time to make sure that dinner is on the table at night is a freakin' miracle!

I am doing the best I can with what I have and what I know, and you know what... that is enough.

Sometimes I see those "Pinterest" moms who are making these amazing looking arts and crafts projects with their kids to give as christmas presents to their techers and I want to pour glitter glue in their hair. First of all, I'm not that crafty to begin with. Second, I am not particularly inclined in the arts department. And third, I don't have enought time in the day to get glitter glue at the darn store, let alone create "The cutest Pinecone Christmas Ornament" that Michelle Wilding (some woman I've never met before or seen before in my life) has ever seen.

I'm happy if at the end of my day I get to plop my tired ass on the couch and hug my boyfriend and tell him I love him and fall asleep while he finishes a movie. That really is enought for me. If I make it through my day without committing any felonies (i.e. killing someone) and remembering whether or not I ate luch, it is a good freakin' day! My mom tells me all the time that it never really gets any easier... in fact it actually gets harder... but you just learn how to deal with it.

So CHEERS! Here's to the 90% of Americans who feel over worked, under paid, and generally unrecognized for the hard work they put in on a day to day basis. This bottle of wine is for you!! 

And don't worry... I'll enjoy every last drop!