Being A Grown Up

Tolerance - 

                 (n.) The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with. 

There are now, and always will be, people and rules and laws that we just don't agree with. And sometimes, that really is just bull shit. Other times.... nope, it's still bull shit. At least that's how it feels in our minds. Yes there are those of us who are better at heart (like my beautiful and tolerant friend Becky) who don't think it's bull shit necessarily, but maybe think it's calf shit.... or at least that they are just plain old silly. 

Growing up means that you have developed this thing we call a 'filter' that allows us to keep the thought of "that's bull shit" as just a thought. It doesn't pass through the filter to the mouth and come out in an audible fashion. Because that would be inappropriate in the least and politically incorrect at times as well. In order to be a true, full on "grown up" we have to develop this tolerance filter that keeps us from cussing out our bosses, or punching that douche bag guy your best friend just got engaged to right in that dirty mouth of his.... It's a right of passage to become an adult. A real one. Not just the age based adult.

What's worse is, this is (most of the time) the last part of our adult selves to develop. We as human beings develop totally ass backwards. The first thing we develop are our physical bodies. The parts of us that end up getting us into trouble. Young boys can't keep their hands off their own "thingies" and little girls develop these things called boobs that they don't fully understand the use for but wear like little decorations until they finally reach "womanhood" when they start to hurt like hell and then cause back problems if they are well endowed. 

After that, we develop these evil things called "emotions". They are the torture device of development. They make miss our childhood and look forward to the next part of adulthood (after high school/college). They make us hate everything and love everything all at the same time. Then, while we are still trying to get those bitches under control, we have to develop TOLERANCE... the longest four letter word there is!

This tolerance is the ability to coexist with other equally under developed and emotional people and not killing them because we are no longer cavemen and it's frowned upon (and illegal) to beat the crap out of people because you think they are stupid.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, lets get to the Grown Up part....

While everyone has to develop that much needed filter. It develops much easier when you look at the opinion through different eyes. We don't get to see the life behind the opinion that you are hearing or the long term result behind the rule or law that you disagree with.

We all have a life and we all have trials and tribulations to face in our own time. This is the real reason why your mother told you to count to 10 before you speak. This is the reason why you get better at filtering as you get older... because over time you have faced more through your life and you have been ridiculed more than a younger version of yourself. 

By taking a step back and looking at the comment through the other person's eyes, you give yourself an opportunity to respond in a more productive way and you give them a chance to justify their opinions. And the end of the the conversation there will be clarity, understanding and tolerance.... and it will all still be bull shit. But you know what they say....

"Opinions are like assholes... everyone has one, and they all stink"